Relationships are rough, like our nail file rough, and sometimes, despite the counseling, the hoping, and the “pretending to be interested in their, well.. anything,” things just end up not working. The challenge in most of these scenarios ( the scenarios where you’re feeling more imprisoned in a relationship than a part of one) is knowing when to let go. Letting go after all, is simply freeing up your grasp for something bigger, better, and something more conducive to your heart. But as simple and as freeing as that sounds, it seems to be such a difficult part for most of us.
So, when do you know? When do you know it’s time to ((choose)) you over the relationship? Here’s what you all had to say..
“When there was no longer any emotional reaction to his negative actions and words.”
“When the thought crossed my mind that he was probably with another woman, and I hoped he stayed gone the whole night instead of coming home drunk and causing a scene in front of the kids.”
“When he started sleeping with men ”
“When I found myself lying to my friends and family."
“I woke up one morning and was just DONE. Like idk what it was, it was exactly like a light switch. I was over being treated like an option, done with being talked to like trash and being walked all over. I woke up one morning and it all of a sudden made no sense as to why I was putting up with what I was. I’m not kidding, a light switch moment and I NEVER looked back!”
“When the physical connection was lost”
“When I realized I stopped loving myself and putting myself first.”
“When I just didn’t feel the connection anymore. When I knew I deserved way better than what I was receiving.”
“When the trust was broken. You can’t ever get back to where you were…pre- trust! once it’s broken, No matter how hard you try. Also when not sexually attracted to someone.”
“When I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed anymore”
“The day he could choose himself (job,selfish wants) over his family. He could skip a holiday with his family to stay in the barracks with his soldiers.”
“When he felt more like a roommate that I never wanted to be around. Love is one thing, but being IN love is a whole different story. Plus I finally realized he was a pathological liar and that I deserved happiness so I divorced him.”
“When the communication stops.”
“Sadly when calling my mom to save me wasn’t enough. The police had to step in. I’ve grown so much in the last three years. Pray my girls see that strength.”
“When he went to deer camp leaving me to do everything else (caring for the kids including our new baby, work, bills, and house)for the 30th day/night this deer season, and I was happy he was gone because the house was more peaceful without him. I started to realize he was not contributing at all and in fact, he was making chaos in our home when he was asked to contribute at all. It was no longer worth the effort to beg him to give a damn about anyone except himself. My daughter said it best when she said well, not much is going to change because he didn’t do much for us anyway.”
“When he said he was leaving and left.”
“When I saw the first text from one of his (come to find out) many mistresses.”
“When I was completely comfortable with the idea of him being with someone else and not me.”
“My ex before I was married, I realized I was the one making the drive to see him, he was super secretive about his phone and finally I heard from his friends he was acting weird like flirty with a friend. I ended it immediately after learning that . His friends told me before he owned up to it.”
As you can see,there really isn't one reason that fits all. Some of us can handle the lack of communication, while others can forgive an affair. Our tolerances, our expectations, and our crazy ability to forgive certain betrayals are all personal and vary from individual to individual. If there’s one thing for certain (one thing this blog can give you) it’s the understanding that our intuitions have our backs. When your gut tells you, whether it’s a slight whisper or a distinctive scream, you need to listen. Your soul will always guide you towards the best path. So, you badass b*tch you, remember your worth, remember your goals, and remember to love yourself enough to prevent any more broken pieces.