Let’s face it, trust issues are hard to shake off. There’s a dramatic stigma regarding individuals with trust issues and more times than not, they’re portrayed as the woman. I could dive head first into why women often get the blunt of the trust issues, but I'm going to put aside my personal vendetta and blanket it with an ambiguous “there’s probably a really good reason for it….” 

 We all know the reason …….. ( insert blank, yet deafening stare).

Take me for example. Recently, I found my husband was cheating and I am now being thrown into the petrifying world of adult dating. Scorned with trust issues, bitterness, psychotic episodes of penis hatred along with occasional bouts of paranoia, I’m having to navigate the oh-so-wonderful selection of      “they’re probably f*cking cheaters too,” men.

I digress.

Let’s take two significant steps back to how the unraveling of the lies began, which is, I believe, why you are all here today. Some of these findings may do you zero good if you’re suspish of your significant other, but some may in fact spark the idea that you have a reasonable cause to continue your search, which.. I believe anyways, you have a right to.

Please note that I in no way condone invading personal space, information, or objects. You can gather all the information you need without hacking, stealing, or snooping. Sometimes, just asking to see the information is enough.

Let’s begin!

Here are the 5 things that unraveled my husband’s affair(s).

Blocked List on Facebook

One of the very first things I did when I became suspicious was see who my husband had blocked. Why did I think to check? With the popularity of online dating and fear of catfishing, looking people up on multiple social platforms has become the norm when starting fresh with an individual. You want to scope out their life, make sure they’re no Norman Bates, and the obvious one…. see that they’re not married. If your husband/significant other has more than a few women/men blocked (of whom you know nothing about) it could be because they’re preventing them from finding out about you.

Email Spam Folder

Retargeting marketing is a superb thing when you’re interested in a product, but when you’re scoping out porn or tampering with online dating sites, it can be a bust to your game- ( I’ve literally never used that phrase, but here we are). If they’ve visited a site and in some way shape or form entered their information, there’s a high chance they’re getting spammed. Be sure to check out their spam folder, after getting their permission of course.

Snapchat Data

I’m highly against Snapchat when you’re in a monogamous relationship. Of course this is because I’m stained with my “issues.” While SnapChat is famous for being inconspicuous when it comes to the messages sent, it can actually reveal quite a bit. In the settings, you have the option to download the data. When the data is received via email, it includes everyone that was sent a message (and whomever received a message) as well as all the friends that were accepted, deleted, and again… blocked.

Apple’s Setting of “Significant Locations”

If you have an Apple iphone, there’s a great setting within your phone that you may not even realize you have. After getting permission from your significant other, make your way into their iphone settings > privacy > Location services > system services > significant locations. There, you will find their “significant locations” which include the date as well as the time. In other words, these are the places they have been.

Their behavior

Simple, I know.. but really, tune into the differences in their behavior and most important your intuition. If suddenly they don’t want to spend as much time with you, always on their phone, turning their phone over when they’re with you, or not coming to bed at the usual time, explore the very real possibility that something could be going on. Of course, stress at work, parenting, and financial issues, are also very real circumstances that can impact a relationship. Nevertheless, you know your S/O more than most and you know when something is off.

Red flags are things we joke about now…. apparently… in the dating world, but they’re things I wish I would have paid more attention to during my marriage. So many things didn’t feel right, look right, or sound right, and every single time I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Marriage is about that…. giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, but devoting so much of your time to an individual- to a vow or a relationship, you owe it to yourself to inspect the situations that just feel icky because sometimes… they are.

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